My Pregnancy

My story started back in June 2021 with a little pink line that changed my life. It came as a surprise as I booked a flight months back and had to leave within hours from the positive test. I was flying to see my mom after what felt like a long time after the pandemic shut down.

My husband and I had about 2 hours to process this positive test and I would fly out solo. I enjoyed my time in Texas and flew back to Peekskill, New York and couldn’t believe I was pregnant. I had my 8 week appointment and hearing the heartbeat was insane, again just shocked I had a human growing inside. I continued with prenatal appointments and everything seemed to be heading towards a healthy, low risk pregnancy. We made it to the anatomy scan and baby was looking great, growing steadily and I was feeling great.

My obstetrician explained the glucose tolerance test as a formal routine exam so I wasn’t worried about the test. Results came in and I failed. I was told then that it’s not uncommon to fail the first one then pass the 2nd one. The 2nd test was 3 hours long and required to be fasted. I completed the 2nd GTT (glucose tolerance test) and results came in. I failed. I had gestational diabetes. I felt like a failure. How did this happen? I was healthy, vegetarian diet, worked out. I was lost, confused, frustrated and worried, very worried. I joined support groups and I wasn’t alone in feeling this way. I learned this condition affects 2% - 10% of birthing individuals (Gestational Diabetes, CDC). I had to test my blood sugar after every meal and test every morning (fasted). I had to meet with an endocrinologist and dietician weekly.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, my fasting glucose levels slowly became uncontrolled and I was put on a small dosage of insulin. It was so difficult and at that point I was told I’d have to be induced for labor as my sugar levels were not controlled - more on that story on another blog post. Overall, the entire process consumed my third trimester. It became challenging to focus on anything other than my glucose readings. My mental health took a toll and I was constantly stressed how gestational diabetes could effect my baby. Would she be too “big”? What complications can happen? I had so many unanswered questions and lots of shame.

What helped me during this very stressful time in my life: meditation, yoga and the power of movement. I walked so much during my 3rd trimester and would meditate every morning after completing yoga. Thank you Peloton for your prenatal workouts! I completed all the yoga and bike prenatal workouts and threw in barre workouts to feel extra strong. Ultimately, I knew moving my body was my medicine.

I write this as my first blog entry to remind you to find your outlet, especially during pregnancy when it can feel you can’t control anything, especially your body and hormones. Your outlet is tailored towards your needs. Listen to your body, talk to your baby and be kind to yourself. Self- compassion goes a long way, especially during such a transformative time in your life.

In love & support,

Mariposa Doula Care